Blog | LuAnn Cusic Counseling & Therapy

September 29, 2019 by LuAnn Cusic Leave a Comment

How to Find Friends as an Adult

You may remember growing up, meeting your best friend on the playground or making friends in French class. As adults, we don’t have systems built in to make friends like we did as children. We can’t even reach out to loved ones for help, because while it’s socially acceptable to say “I’m looking for a boyfriend”, its not socially acceptable to say “I’m looking for a best friend.” If you want to find a friend as an adult, it’s going to be a lot like finding a romantic partner.

Envision Your Friend

Think about what kind of person your friend would be. Think back to your childhood friends and what made them fun to hang out with. Should your friend be extroverted or introverted? Should they love the outdoors or be a movie buff? Look for qualities in your friend similar to the way you’d look for qualities in a partner.

Go Where Your Friend Would Be

Now that you know what kind of person your friend would be, think about what that person would be doing. Where are they on the weekends? Where do they shop or like to go out to eat? Go to those different places. If you’re an outdoorsy person and want an outdoor-loving friend, find outdoor meetups. Try a hiking or walking group, or sign up for a new fitness class. Keep in mind as you test the waters that you won’t find your friend on your first outing. Just as when you’re looking for a partner, it takes more than just one try. It will take a bit of time and searching.

The Big Ask

When you’re ready to ask out your potential new friend, a great way to get a “yes” is to invite them to a favorite, or to something new. For example, invite your friend to go watch your favorite sports team or over to your house to cook your favorite recipe. You can also invite them to play a new board game, or out to watch a new movie.

Stoke the Fire

You’ll need to nurture your budding friendship by spending more time together. Just as in dating, take it slow and steady, and don’t take anything too seriously at first. Too much too fast could set you up for a friendship that’s not going to work, or might make the other person feel smothered.

You can deepen the friendship by working on goals together. Find out what your friend dreams about. How can you help them meet their goals? How can they help you with yours? Maybe they can help you get ready for a summer swimsuit, and maybe you can help them organize their garage. Find ways to work on things together.

Do you find yourself struggling in social situations? A licensed therapist can help you overcome shyness and improve your social interactions. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

September 15, 2019 by LuAnn Cusic Leave a Comment

10 Signs You’re Addicted to Working

We live in a society that worships the overachiever. Burning the candle at both ends and denying yourself pleasure until the work gets done is seen as honorable. And while having a good work ethic is definitely key to living your best life, it is also important to balance your work life with a sense of play and freedom. If you don’t, you could experience burnout.

The Dangers of Being Addicted to Work

You may think that a workaholic would be every boss and manager’s dream employee. After all, if you’re someone who’s addicted to work, you’re generally the first one to arrive, last to leave, refuse to take vacations and take on mountains of work.

But workaholics are often not seen as team players, don’t delegate, and can’t handle their workload efficiently. And, because these individuals refuse to take time off of work, they can become sick. Workaholics experience far more work-related stress, anger, anxiety and depression, which can result in physical symptoms like headaches, migraines, GI upset and insomnia.

Are You a Workaholic?

Wondering whether you are a workaholic? Here are 10 signs you may be addicted to working:

You work over 50 hours each week.
You feel the need to be constantly busy.
You have trouble relaxing and/or having fun when not working.
You are a perfectionist.
Writing to-do lists is fun for you.
Your loved ones complain about how much you work.
You’re often caught not listening or paying attention to conversations because you’re focused on work.
You’ve often been called a “control freak.”
You are neglecting other aspects of your life, like attending your child’s play or music recital.
You become highly stressed when you are forced to turn off your cellphone and other digital devices.

Workaholism is a Real Disease

Workaholism is an actual disease like alcoholism that tends to be passed down from parent to child. Work addicts use work as a means to cope with emotional discomfort and feelings of inadequacy. Because there is a real, intense need for work as a distraction, other areas of their life tend to suffer. And the cycle goes on and on.

Workaholics can benefit greatly from cognitive behavioral therapy where they can learn coping strategies that allow them to feel better and work less.

If you or someone you know is addicted to work and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d love to help you find some balance in your life.

August 31, 2019 by LuAnn Cusic Leave a Comment

5 Ways to Get a Better Night’s Sleep with Anxiety

Affecting nearly 40 million adults in the United States, anxiety is one of the country’s most common mental health disorders. Sleep disturbances such as insomnia are highly prevalent amongst those who suffer from anxiety disorder. If you have trouble falling asleep, it may heighten or trigger your anxiety, and vice versa. While it can be difficult for an anxiety sufferer to fall asleep, it’s not impossible; read on for five ways to get a better night’s sleep.

1. Exercise

Physical activity is an important component for overall health. Exercise will produce chemicals in your brain that will help elevate your mood and decrease your stress or tension, which will provide some relief for your anxiety. Exercise will also help you sleep. Not only will the physical exertion improve the quality of your sleep, it will help insure you’re able to sleep without interruption.

2. Daylight

Daylight helps set sleep patterns, so try to spend at least 30 minutes outdoors during the day time. Daylight sun exposure is critical if you have trouble falling asleep, because it helps to regulate the body’s circadian clock.

3. Healthy Habits

Studies have shown that people who make unhealthy food choices are more likely to suffer from sleep disturbances. Healthy balanced meals will keep your energy stable which will help you manage your mood and improve your sleep habits.

It’s also important to avoid big meals or alcohol for several hours before bedtime. Smoking is another bad habit that can cause many health problems, which will negatively affect your sleep in a number of ways.

4. Night Time Routine

Create a routine that you execute nightly, an hour or two before bedtime. Minimizing screen time will help calm your mind and prepare you for sleep. Change into your pajamas and do some light reading, or find other ways to charge down and get ready to sleep. Make sure you go to bed around the same time every night too, including weekends.

5. A Comfortable Bedroom

Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet, without distractions. Have a window open to keep the room cool and the air smelling fresh. A clean room and clean linens will make your bedroom more inviting. Make sure you have a good quality mattress and pillow to maximize your comfort.

Are you struggling with falling or staying asleep, and need help maintaining healthy sleep habits? A licensed professional can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.

August 20, 2019 by LuAnn Cusic Leave a Comment

Senior Dating: 4 Tips to Finding Your Silver Mojo

Dating. It’s not easy at any age, but it can be downright tough for those in the 60+ category. The world has most likely changed significantly since the last time you may have dated. You yourself have also changed. Love, loss, careers, raising a family, etc. have all impacted who you are and how you feel about life and the world around you.

While it may feel intimidating at first, dating after the age of 60 can actually be a lot of fun. It will require you to perhaps adjust your mindset and find some courage, but once you put yourself out there, you might be surprised just how easy it is to connect with others in both platonic and romantic ways.

Here are some dating tips to get you started:

Practice Smiling

Many people, as they get older, smile less. Perhaps they are missing loved ones who have passed, are struggling with retirement, or are in chronic physical pain. But smiling is something that lights up our faces and instantly attracts other people to us. If you feel you haven’t been smiling as much as you used to, get back into the habit. Watch some favorite comedies, hang out with your grandkids more often and play with the neighbor’s dog. The more you smile, the better you feel and more attractive you become.

Start a Conversation

Now is not the time to be shy. If you see someone that catches your eye while out at a coffee shop or standing in line at the grocery store, strike up a conversation. You could say something as simple as, “Are the bagels good here” or “I always seem to pick the busiest times to shop.” The idea is to simply start a conversation and see where it goes. If nothing else, you may make some new coffee shop friends!

Focus on Your Interests

You’ll have a better chance of meeting a potential partner who is like-minded if you focus on your interests and hobbies. If you like art and culture, then spend more time at museums or the bookstore. Are you a dog nut? Then perhaps volunteer at a local animal shelter. Focusing on your own hobbies and interests will bring you joy at the same time, and that joy will make you incredibly attractive to others.

Go Online

Sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com make it incredibly easy for you to look for potential dates online. You can browse hundreds of profiles at your own pace and reach out to those people who strike your fancy. Don’t assume that online dating is for younger people. It’s for anyone with an internet connection and a desire to meet people.

If you follow these tips, you’ll have no problem meeting new and wonderful people. And who knows, one of them could be that special someone.